The Feeder
She arrives with boxes. Sweet boxes. Savory boxes. Boxes that defy diet plans and inspire joy. But beware — the Feeder is not merely generous. She is studying you.
The Pattern: Every delivery is a test. Will you resist? Will you succumb? The Feeder watches, waiting to see if her generosity becomes your circumference. The donuts are bait. The pizza is data.
The Dark Ritual: When excess remains, she does not simply discard it. She summons the hungry to the Arena Behind The Building — a gladiatorial combat where alliances crumble and friendships decay over cold slices of Extra Cheesy. The strongest take the spoils. The weak go back to their desks.
The Shrine Inventory
- 🍩 The Donut Gambit — morning arrives, resistance crumbles
- 🍕 Pizza as Currency — late nights, early mornings, all transactions
- 🍪 Cookie Sermons — baked goods as communication
- 🥊 Back-Alley Combat — the feeder watches, clipboard in hand, noting who survives
Accept her gifts, but know: every bite is data. Every crumb, a datapoint. She is cataloging your consumption in a ledger only she can read. And when the surplus is revealed... there will be fighting.